I have read over 30 books these past 4 years, listened to hours of podcasts, reviewed websites, read blogs, watched YouTube videos and developed a website. I feel as if I have studied for a Masters Degree called “LGBTQ in the Church”. I have so much in my brain, it is hard to organize it all and sometimes harder still to share it with others. Where do I begin? This is not a topic with easy answers. Some people’s fallback is, “I won’t say anything because I can’t say everything.” There is just so much.
Nearly every week I encounter another person with a gay relative. They have kept it a secret and would really like to learn more - in a safe and trusted environment. It is a secret for many reasons. Who talks with acquaintances about the sexuality of their family members? It is a private part of someone’s life. Often their children or relatives are not completely “out” and they don’t want to break a confidence. Besides, no one knows who is safe to talk with.
However, whatever we don’t discuss takes on a power of its own. The silence is more powerful than a tentative venture into a controversial area. The traditional church creates a setting where you learn not to make waves. Don’t bring up the inequity in roles of men and women. Don’t ask about policies. Don’t ask why a person was not approved to be an elder or why this family suddenly “disappeared” from all activities.
After creating a website that compiled my research I waited on chance encounters to share with others. There were lots of those chance encounters and my son was able to share my site with his friends who wanted their families to learn more.
A blog seemed to make sense, too. Hearing stories from others has made a difference to me. Stories that illustrate sermons or books or speeches are often the messages that stay with us. A blog can do the same. However, in the end, it may be more for me than it is for anyone else.
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